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Ode to Texas Ode To Texas

 The devil wanted a place on earth
 Sort of a summer home
A place to spend his vacation
 Whenever he wanted to roam.
 So he picked out Texas
 A place both wretched and rough
 Where the climate was to his liking
 And the cowboys hardened and tough.
 He dried up the streams in the canyons
 And ordered no rain to fall
 He dried up the lakes in the valleys
 Then baked and scorched it all.
Then over his barren country
 He transplanted shrubs from hell.
 The cactus, thistle and prickly pear
 The climate suited them well.
 Now the home was much to his liking
 But animal life, he had none.
 So he created crawling creatures
 That all mankind would shun.
 First he made the rattlesnake
 With its forked poisonous tongue.
 Taught it to strike and rattle
 And how to swallow its young.
 Then he made scorpions and lizards
 And the ugly old horned toad.
 He placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the road.
 Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter,
 Hotter and hotter still.
 Until even the cactus wilted
And the old horned lizard took ill.
 Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
As any creator would
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
 And admitted that it was good.
 'Twas summer now and Satan lay
 By a prickly pear to rest.
 The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow
 So he took off his coat and vest.
"By Golly," he finally panted,
 "I did my job too well,
 I'm going back to where I came from,
 'cause Texas is hotter than Hell."